this isnt real
i think i died and went to heaven
so so so so so beautiful
*pretends to understand the movie reference you just made*
old ass ppl talk shit about my generation until they accidentally disable their wifi and cant figure out how to turn it back on
then im suddenly the mastermind of information & resources
balaclava || arctic monkeys
now the shaggers perform
and the daggers are drawn
who’s the crooks in this crime?
sometimes i get distracted by my own cleavage like… nice…….
I went to an Arab-American comedy night and there was a Muslim guy making a joke about being in high school football.
"I was hit so hard, I saw Jesus. Do you know how hard you have to be hit to see somebody else’s god?"
This is what jokes about religion are supposed to look like.
people talking about their sexual experiences and u r in the corner like
I reply to peoples texts way too fast that its actually embarrassing
When I’m listening to Beyoncé in my car and one of my friends tells me to change it
do u wanna cuddle naked yes or yes
when u know u mama mad at u but u gotta walk past her to get food from the kitchen